When you ask me what I want for my birthday and I say, "A rock," I'm not speaking euphemistically.
And if you really want to make me swoon at your generosity, go drop $20 on a bag of polished river pebbles.
Yeah, I'm a cheap date.
(The pond is about done. Just a couple more bags of the little pebbles ought to do it. So happy with how this turned out. It sounds divine, too.)