Happy Surprises

I love to do nice things for people, but mostly when it can be completely anonymous. I love those charity Christmas trees where you get to adopt a needy person and buy a gift. One year our school adopted a whole family and I got to buy for Mom. That was really fun, because I knew Mom and Dad had probably been going without for a long time to provide for their kids and I liked the idea that they would each get a Christmas surprise, too.

Sometimes it's not possible to be COMPLETELY anonymous, though. Sis and I gave a gift in person (no other way to give it) so the recipient knew who the gift was from. But, we didn't give names or addresses or anything, so there was no obligation to respond. The gift was very much appreciated and it was fun to enjoy the reaction, then flee and let the person just bask all day in the fun of it.

It's not possible to be completely anonymous in email, either. If you send "strokes" in email, there's always your email address there. And anonymous emails, especially if they're complimentary, can be kind of creepy. So, if I want to send a complimentary email, I always put my name and location. I don't want the recipient to feel an obligation to respond so always try to write in such a way that no response is necessary (no questions, no open-ended statements).

Which is why I was so shocked, thrilled and gratified at the happy surprise I found in my emailbox yesterday. Last August I had the opportunity to hear a performer that was new to me. I was very moved and inspired by his music. He was mobbed after his performance, so I emailed him later to tell him what his music did for me. I didn't expect to get a response and didn't. That was OK. But yesterday, there was an email with his name on it in my box. The subject line led me to conclude it was probably a mass mailer announcing a new album. I smiled and clicked on the email, ready to order! To my delight, it was a personal email. What delighted me the most was that the performer said he has kept my email in his inbox all this time (since August) to that he could read it from time to time.

I'm so happy that I was able to encourage him. Certainly his music encouraged me.

48 Movies

There's another movie meme going around. Something like, if you've seen 85 of these 250+ movies you don't have a life. I actually started it. After marking the first dozen I realized that half of those I "saw" because someone else in the family wanted to watch it at home and I was in the room. So I adjusted the marks to include "those I saw because I was with someone else." Then, because I watch movies over and over again, I figured those I only saw once and didn't like it needed their own code, too. Then, because I didn't want to post the whole thing here, I started just deleting all the movies I hadn't seen.

Then I realized I really don't have a life if I have time to do all that. In the meantime, DH who is trying to heal a strained (possibly broken) foot in time for the march on the Pentagon on March 17 is up washing everybody's dishes they've allowed to accumulate for the last three days.

I decided my priorities needed readjusting.

I just counted the movies on the list I've seen by my choice. 48. Most of which I've seen at least six times so the result is the same. I don't have a life.

But I do have chores, so I'm off to rescue hubby's foot. Even though none of those dishes are mine.

Theme: Salty

In January, DH and I drove up to Santa Barbara (about an hour) to check out a green building center we'd heard about. After the building center we went out to Stearns Wharf for a walk on the pier, then to the Enterprise for lunch. We had a lovely afternoon and enjoyed a fabulous sunset on the way home. I took a bunch of pictures flying along the beach at 70 miles per hour and was surprised at how well they turned out.

When I read that the Photo Hunt theme this week is "salty", the first thing that came to mind was the way, when you hang out along the ocean, you collect salt on your skin from the spray. Eventually, when you lick your lips, they will be salty, but it's a special salty that's unique to the ocean experience.


Do you ever read your own posts? I get a lot out of writing mine, and certainly out of reading everyone else's. But occasionally I go through and read my own as if I'm new to them, just to try to see how they come off. I wish I could say that I was surprised to see how negative mine all sound, but I'm not. I know that I've been fighting depression for some time, now. This is not like me. I'm usually the one trying to make the lemonade. But I've gotten to the point where I don't want to get up in the morning, I'm a bitch at work (and I work with kids, so that's not good) and I don't have energy for things I usually love to do. Textbook signs of depression, huh? Anyway, Thursday I decided I was tired of fighting depression. After work I just gave in and wallowed in it. I put on my sweats and opened a bag of Dove milk chocolate eggs. I opened a Word file on the computer and started a "poor me" list of everything that is wrong with my life from most recent backward. The most recent was finding a new skin cancer on my arm just hours after opening a $194 bill for dental work I had been assured was fully covered by my dental insurance. Neither of these things is a big crisis, just a pain in the butt to have to deal with. Anyway, the list went on and on. I never finished it; I got tired of it but it served its purpose. My life sucks right now for a variety of reasons out of my control. I have every right to be down in the dumps. Just knowing that I had good reasons helped me put things back into perspective and I feel much better.

But I'm keeping the chocolate.

I have managed to get some cross-stitch done this week on the hollyhocks. It's tempting to keep going with that edge because it goes so fast, but I know I'll get tired of the constant color changes in the flowers so want to trade off. I'll move back down into the flowers for a while, then back to the edges.

However, I need to change projects for a while, so this one may get tucked into its project bag.

It's been snowing like crazy in Eden this week. 18" on Powder Mountain in the last two days, and their base is up to 102". We finally got a rental check for the condo! Several magazines did feature stories on Utah snow this season and all three resorts in "our" valley were mentioned. Both Snowbasin and Powder made the top ten lists in Ski and Skiing. And Ski magazine called our condos (Moose Hollow) "the valley's nicest digs." We also got mentioned in Disney's Family Fun and Sunset. DH said the place was packed over the Presidents' Day weekend, and we missed out on a long-term rental because he was staying in the condo. Maybe there's hope, with this great new snow (they call it 'snorkle-deep powder' on Powder Mountain), for more rentals in February and March.

We'll be there in April for spring break. I have the Friday before Easter off and we think we're going to do a "gag-out" (drive the full 800 miles) in one day on the way up. Then we can crash and recover the next day. We'll take two days to get home (with a stay-over in Primm, Nevada) because we have to go to work on Monday and we just can't function after driving 800 miles in one day. During the break we're supposed to meet with the architect to see some preliminary ideas for our house sometime but otherwise it's just sleeping and stitching for me (with maybe a walk here and there if it's not too muddy.) Last year our side of the valley had melted but we were looking right at the east-facing slopes and they were still snowpacked. It was beautiful!

This snowy picture is from the golf course behind the condo, looking toward our building lot. If the middle of the picture is at 0,0 and the edges are 4 and -4, then the building lot is at about -2,-2. There's a two-story house and a one-story house and our lot is in the middle. I've wanted to live where there is snow in the winter my whole life. I'm very excited to get my chance!

I'm planning to take Firefly Faeries and the Hollyhocks with me. I may also take my "What Color is the Spring" quilt and my lightbox so that I can start transferring the embroidery patterns to the muslin strips. I'm not in a rush for this piece (won't do any embroidery until next winter because I will embroider through the bat and it's just too hot to stitch with the quilt on my lap in the summer) but that would be a nice change of pace at the condo. Sometimes the television noise gets to me and I like to tuck up in the dining room where it's not so loud.

I'm trying to control myself from taking too much stuff with me, though, because we should start hauling some stuff home. We don't expect the condo to sell until the spring or summer (or if the economy remains so unstable, maybe until the fall) but we don't want to have to haul four years of accumulation down all at once. There's stuff up there we thought would be good to have but have never used, so we need to start hauling it back or getting rid of it.

DH and his brother are traveling to Washington, DC, for the protest march on the Pentagon and while they're gone I'm thinking about a trip to Disneyland. I may go on Saturday so that I can watch the fireworks. And I have the next Monday off, too, so may go to enjoy one more off-season day by myself. I invited DS2 to go with me (I want to show him the Jedi Academy and Soarin' Over California) but he didn't seem too interested. That's OK. I know how to have a lovely time all by me onesie.

Spring Already?!?

I know that most of the country (and a lot of the rest of the worl) envies Southern California our mild winters. But c'mon - jonquils in February? I never have spring bulbs flowering for Easter because they start popping up at Christmas and flowering by Valentine's Day.

DH had quite the adventure in Utah. He fell in the mud on his first day and, while not seriously injured, was stiff and sore for the rest of the trip. Guest 1 suffered stomach problems severe enough to hie them to the clinic by day two, and on day three guest 2 had back pain severe enough to drive into the clinic again. Day four everybody rested up and collected themselves, then on day five guests decided they could try snowboarding again. At the end of guest 2's most successful run she turned to high-five guest 1, fell backward and dislocated her wrist, breaking two bones in the process. McKay-Dee Hospital in Ogden is the best!

After a two-day drive home, DH is now safely tucked into his recliner with his remote in his control and all is well again. He did have a lovely dinner with the architect and her family and other friends. He gave her the go-ahead to have our building site surveyed and a topographical map drawn (cha-ching number one). This could be entertaining. The neighbors to the north of our site leveled their back yard, then built a gravel driveway from the garage to the backyard (our side of the street has quite a slope). The entire project - backyard and driveway - are built two feet or more onto our lot ("someone" moved the line stake two feet onto our lot). Part of having the lot surveyed and marked will include putting out flags to mark the boundaries so that the architect can start placing the house. Won't that neighbor be surprised to come home from work and find a line of little red flags down his driveway?

DH's biggest news is that he was able to find and watch a bald eagle in the valley. Now he's committed to finding the "right kind of tree" to attract a bald eagle to his back yard. He needs to visit a Homer, Alaska, site before he decides he wants resident bald eagles.

Theme: SOFT

I was shocked to realize I don't have a whole lotta "soft" in my life. As usual, Mom to the rescue. She knitted this wrap a year or so ago and I called dibs on it. It's like a shawl with sleeves and keeps me toasty warm in the chilly mornings when I sit at my computer. It may qualify as the softest thing in the house at the moment. She is the most amazing knitter! We all own wonderful sweaters and hats full of popcorn and cables. She's working on one now in a very soft, denim-colored yarn. She hasn't decided who to give it to. A very lucky someone, for sure!

Here's my progress on the Hollyhocks. I went up in the chart to the top edge, then went to the left and right. Now I can proceed from top to bottom, which is more comfortable for me. I especially like the HUGE sections of just one color around the edges. That goes really fast. It will be nice to work on the flowers, with all the color changes, for a while, then switch for a while to the large sections around the borders.

Yesterday was PMS (Preserving Memories Sunday). Sis (a Creative Memories consultant) told a story that was shared at her regional meeting. A CM consultant suffered severe head injuries in a quad accident. Her family brought scrapbooks to her every day in the hospital, and her doctors credited the daily conversations over the scrapbooks with helping her recover and regain as much of her memory as she did.

I had a good time scrapping my Disneyland Happiest Homecoming pictures. I don't know that they'd do me a whole lot of good after a brain injury, though, so am trying to decide what direction to take to get back to family books. What do they say? Start now, keep up and work back when you can.

Hollyhocks Update

Page One is Finished! I've only left the flower centers so that I can do them all at the same time. And there were a couple of places along the edges where it made sense not to fill the needle to make one stitch when, at the time I move to the next page, there is a whole section of that color and I can easily pick up those solo stitches when I do that section. I decided to go up for the next section. I'll go up in small sections until I reach the border, then work to either side. This will give me good anchor positions so I can work from top to bottom.

I've been really sick this week and it's been very frustrating. I was really convinced I was having an allergic reaction to something in the classroom where I was attending the Cherokee class because I felt great until I got there, then lousy during the class, then much better with each step away from the classroom. But, by Monday noon I was already requesting a sub for Tuesday and Wednesday; I had 100 degree fever (which, since my "normal" temp is only 96.8, that's the equivalent of 103 degrees.) I ended up calling in sick on Thursday and Friday, too. The fever finally broke late Thursday afternoon and I didn't even try to pick up a needle until yesterday (Sunday). I was just too weak to do anything. I'm still hacking and sniffling and am not optimistic about this week at work, but am going to give it my best shot. I'm so far behind already I may not be able to catch up in time for report cards.

Spring has sprung here. Jonquils and violets are blooming and new leaves are showing on the passion vine. Hydrangeas are putting out leaves an roses are blooming. I think the first Monarchs are visiting the backyard.

Way too early here in SoCA where we were only able to pretend we had winter for a couple of weeks. DH is in Eden where he got just enough snow to be pretty in gorgeous 30 degree days.

Rug?

Another blogger posted about buying rugs. We are designing our retirement home and are planning bare (maybe concrete) floors so will need area rugs. I'm really falling for this one.

Getting Close...

...to finishing the first page.


This is my progress on the hollyhocks. I was hoping to hold out on posting until I finished the first page of the chart, but I have my Cherokee class again all this weekend and probably won't have a chance to check in here (staying at my folks again) so decided to post this much.

I'm so excited about how this is shaping up! I do need to go buy some more floss. I've just about used up the dark burgundy (showing here as purple) and can see that using three strands I'm going to go through multiple skeins of some colors.

Now I have to decide which direction to go next. I could go up and I think that would finish the top of the picture, but the chart to the left of what I've done has the hummingbird (or at least part of it) and that would be fun, too.

Decisions, decisions...

No More Pony Express

insecticide smell in drug store for spring
at the mercy of walmart and china
small shops closing
discretionary money
joanns closing (cheaper to buy walmart than sew)
polar bears
online shopping
seventeen magazine article

I was once telling my sister a story about something. When I was done she asked, "Does your mind work like that all the time?" This list of topics is kind of reflective of the way my mind does work. There's an essay (blog?) in there somewhere if I can dig it out.

When I was fourteen (that was 41 years ago) I read an article in Seventeen magazine that really stayed with me. I wish I had cut it out and kept it, but it was one of those things that you don't realize will stay with you until it has stayed with you for a while. It was about a young man living in the future. On the television were constant news reports about the horrible riots and violence that were continuously taking place in the streets of America. Stay in your homes! When he needed anything he would order it (I don't remember how) and it would be delivered by a conveyor belt system into his apartment, so he never had to leave. Eventually, of course, he becomes curious about what's really out there and ventures out to find empty, silent streets. He follows the conveyor belt system to the master control center where he is informed that "they" decided the only way to keep peace in the world was to keep everyone in their homes. They had been waiting for someone with enough courage to track them down so that this person could take over for them. I don't remember how the story ended (did he take over for them or not?) but I found the concept fascinating.

Seems to me we're getting close.

People spend more and more time in their homes, ordering what they need online and having it delivered to their homes. This is perfectly understandable; in many parts of the country (the world?) people just don't have access to the materials they want. Certainly I can see this among my stitchery blog friends. But for others, there is a local needlework store nearby enough to patronize and they will still choose online shopping, often because it's cheaper. As more and more of us shop online, more and more local shops are closing. Just this past weekend I dropped by a favorite scrapbooking store in a neighboring town and it was - poof - gone! As is the local quilt shop and nursery.

I noted in conversation once how sad this seemed to me, and a colleague commented that people just don't do crafts anymore, they are more interested in computers. I disagreed. Although many quilters and stitchers do enjoy the internet, it doesn't take the place of needle in hand. My explanation for the closure of the shops is that our economy is in such terrible shape that people just don't have as much discretionary money as they used to (what with paying - STILL- close to $2.50 a gallon for gas and hundreds of dollars a month for health insurance, if they are bothering with that at all) and so they are looking for the big discounts on all their purchases. Hence the online shops and stores like Walmart.

Unfortunately, it's a vicious circle. We don't have money to buy what we want unless it's discounted. Small stores go out of business because we shop discount, so then we are dependent on the "big box" stores like Beverly's, Michael's and JoAnn or the even bigger stores like Walmart. Then the big stores decide we're not spending enough on fabric (or stitchery supplies or whatever) and they decide not to carry those supplies any more. After all, not too many people choose to sew their clothes when they can buy them at Walmart cheaper than they can buy the fabric to sew. Maybe the big stores close completely. My mom's town had a GREAT Beverly's that just closed this month.

We're at their mercy. The Walmart (or SuperMichael's or SuperJoann) drives the small stores out of business, so where do we go to get what we need? Where can I go to get the floss I need to finish a project if the big stores stop carrying floss and the small stores are all out of business? Or quilt fabric or scrapbook paper or...?

And where do I go to get the smell? Yesterday I dropped by a drug store for something and immediately thought of spring flowers. It took me a minute but I realized that I was smelling the potting soil and insecticides that were featured in an aisle of spring planting supplies.

For me shopping in a fabric store (especially a small quilt shop) is a complete sensory experience. I love the smell of the fabric inks (don't get me started on book stores) and the feel of the fabrics as I run my fingers down the edges of the bolts. I love the play of the colors against each other and the sound of staff quietly counseling customers on their fabric choices. About the only sense that doesn't get involved is taste (I don't lick the fabrics although I frequent a few shops that set out chocolate that I don't always resist).

I only shop at Walmart in Hiawatha, Kansas, when I visit my cousin who works there (about once every three years). I boycott all others. It's really no great loss for me. Their fabric department loses out in the sensory experience. And I don't buy fabric online for the same reason; it's the whole experience I love, not just purchasing fabric (I have a SABLE in my closet - Stash Accumulated Beyond Life Expectancy). But it does no good to commit to supporting the LNS or LQS when they aren't here any more.

The Pony Express isn't here anymore, either, and would we really want it to be? Would we really want to spend $3.50 per letter and have it take weeks to reach its destination, if it made it at all? The Pony Express went out of business as soon as the telegraph was criss-crossing the country. With the internet, the last telegram was delivered last year and the telegraph is officially extinct. Even the post office is doing double time to think of ways to stay in business (my letter carrier son calls junk mail "bread and butter," and our local post office has the best gift items in town). Will we watch the post office go the way of the telegraph and the Pony Express?

Which brings me to the polar bears. We're losing them. Global warming is melting the ice caps and more and more polar bears drown every month. They are spending less and less time in their breeding areas, producing fewer and fewer cubs. It saddens me that they may be extinct within my lifetime.

Like the small quilt shop? Like the small needlework shop?

Procrastinating...

Once upon a time I was a dollmaker. Well, OK, I sort of still am. I still have lots of greenware and desire to make more dolls, but my kiln died and I haven't been able to find another doll shop that I would trust to fire what I have. There is a good shop (I'm told) in Utah so I've got my fingers crossed that it is still in business when I get there so that I can finish some of these things up.

This little baby (and she is really little, about 8 inches tops) was the last one I did before the shop I was going to closed. The artist is Dianna Effner (my vote for best doll artist ever). My mom crocheted the outfit for a little plastic doll and gave it to me years before I made this one. I was thrilled when I realized it fit! Shortly after I finished the doll I found a darling buggy to fit. Since then I've been picking up fabrics to make a miniature quilt for the doll in the buggy. I took this picture in hopes that it would help me decide what direction to take with this quilt. Two of the fabrics are kind of retro looking and may be a little too modern for this little girl. So, I guess I'm kind of leaning to the pinks at the top and bottom of the stack.

In other procrastination (yes, I have some things to do that I'm putting off)... I've been having so much fun reading other blogs. When I first heard about blogging I thought this was the prime example of the self-absorption that has captured my country, and maybe to some extent that's true (c'mon, take a picture of myself every day for a year? I do have something of a life.) But what I'm really enjoying is stumbling from one blog to another through the link lists. This morning I met Lene in the Arctic (brrr.....) and Paula in Scotland and my day is richer for the experience. Why, Paula was even standing in front of Shepherd's Bush, just fifteen minutes from where we are building our retirement home!

So now instead of seeing these as the supreme example of self-centeredness, I'm thinking they are examples of reaching out to others.

Or maybe I'm rationalizing.

Doesn't matter. I'm having fun getting to know everyone in bloggerland.

Speaking of self-absorption, another blogger posted a meme (which, I understand sounds like "dream"; I can't get past the me! me! aspect but there you go) that sounds like fun. Name five movies you happily watch repeatedly. Just five? Here are my top contenders (although I watch movies and read books over and over so the list is rather longer than just five) :

Practical Magic, You've Got Mail, Independence Day, National Treasure, While You Were Sleeping.

And now I must go finish clearing up the Christmas boxes and move a couple of things in the garage. Then I can come in and start a paper-pieced quilt I want to make for a friend. Which is what I'm really procrastinating. The last time I tried to paper piece something it was with a lemon of a Pfaff machine that never did work right. Now I have a nice Bernina "workhorse" and am nervous that it will act up like the other did. Then where will I be?

I'm feeling a little sad this morning. Of course, I don't usually feel emotions for what they are (sad, angry, frustrated, ecstatic). I usually feel them as hunger and start eating. As part of my process of getting healthier, I'm trying to hold off from eating until I've explored my feelings a little, and this morning have concluded (without the assistance of a few handfulls of chocolate chips) that I'm feeling sad.

Probably part of what I'm interpreting as "sad" is really a let-down from a couple of completions. First, both DH and I have sent our questionnaires to the architect for our home design. Each step we take in this process gets us closer to our dream of relocating from Southern California to Utah. I'm absolutely, 100%, deep in my heart sure that this move is the right move for us. But it still makes me sad to move 800 miles away from my family, and each step we take in this process also brings us closer to the time when I won't be in my sons' pockets (yes, a strong argument for moving 800 miles away for their sakes), won't be here for every birthday bash, won't be here for my bi-monthly all-day scrapbooking sessions with my mom and sis.

Another let-down (most welcome) is that I had "volunteered" (actually I was put in a spot where I couldn't - in good conscience - refuse) to chair the organizing committee for my teacher's union in a potential fight over a salary increase. Our town has the highest cost of living in our county, but our teachers' salaries are the lowest in the county (10% lower than the next lowest district). We've been really good sports for years because we know that our district doesn't get a lot of the special monies neighboring districts get. But this year there is an increase in the allotment and we feel the teachers should be getting a fair share of the increase. Based on past history, we were not overly optimistic that this would happen so we started the process of organizing. The president of the union and the woman who volunteered to help me are gung-ho to start the process. So far it's been an exercise in frustration with people cancelling meetings on me, not receiving call-backs and so on. What was particularly frustrating for me was that my preference was to wait until after the first round of negotiations and see how things looked before rallying the troops. In fact, to do too much could be considered an unfair labor practice so I was doubly sure that we shouldn't do too much until we tested the wind. I really felt pulled in two directions. As it turns out, the first two days of negotiations went very well and it looks like this will not get too ugly after all. I will still have to move things forward for organizing because they will begin negotiating for next year in May, but the pressure is off.

But I think the biggest part of feeling sad is that DH is going to be gone on TWO (count 'em, TWO) trips that I would LOVE to be on and just can't go (sniff). First, he will spending a week in Utah. I love Utah (duh, that's why we're moving there) and could really use a break now. But, I can't be away from school for that long.

Then, just a couple of short weeks after he gets back from that trip, he and his brother are leaving for Washington, D.C., to march in the big peace march from the Vietnam Memorial to the Pentagon. They're giving themselves enough time to visit some of the museums on the mall. I love D.C. The only times I've been there have been with forty eighth-graders in tow, and I've always promised myself that I would get back someday without kids. Just as I've always promised myself London and Ireland. But now it seems that, once we move to Utah, whatever travel money I have will go to trips back to SoCA to see family and, if DS1 and his wife follow their dream to raise their family in Japan, to see them. There's a very good chance I will not see London or Ireland or even Washington, D.C. again. It will be my choice to see family over sightseeing, and we never know what the future holds. I may not be able to see family, either, or I may be well enough off financially to be able to do it all. Realistically, though, there is a good chance that I won't be able to do it all. So, missing this trip to D.C. makes me a little sad today.

Oh, well.