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Friday, October 28, 2011

Transition Fog

For the last several mornings I've awakened to a strange feeling, like floating in a fog.  Not a scary, when-is-the-car-going-to-hit-me fog.  Not a from-which-direction-will-the-hideous-monster-attack fog.  This feels more like a cozy quilt of ignorance with an underlayment of transition.

Another change is coming.

I've gone through too many changes in the last couple of years to even begin to count.  It's been an adventure and a comfort.  Endlessly entertaining to relax and allow the Universe to have its way.  I'm getting better about letting go and letting things fall into place around me.   Oh, not perfect.  I still want to plan and control sometimes.

But especially at times like this, surrounded by the comforting fog, I'm learning to say, "Whatever is supposed to happen, will happen," and smile.

And watch the dominoes fall.

This is the first time, though, I've felt this happy anxiety.  Something unexpected but positive is on its way.  No clue what it will be but the anticipation is almost as good as waiting for Santa when I was eight.

There are some terrific things coming that I do know about.

My baby turned thirty (3-0) last week and the family bash to celebrate is tomorrow at my house.  I've planned and cleaned and shopped.  Know what happens when your baby is a grown man?  He decides to cook a gourmet Mexican feed for his birthday.  Oh, I get to do the tacos tomorrow.  But so far he's made an original marinade for asada, cooked some chicken thighs on the grill with a sauce that smells pretty good.  Now he's experimenting with cheese-stuffed jalapenos.

Gonna be quite a feast.

And of course, in just about 19 days now I'll get onto a plane for my first-ever out-of-country travel to meet my grandson and spend time with my older son and his wife.  It's been over a year since they re-located to Japan.  That's not the longest I've gone without seeing him, but there's something about being separated by that ocean that makes the distance and - strangely - the time seem so much longer.



I'll be taking off over the ocean, but not at sunset.  My plane takes off at 9:50 AM and the sun will chase me for 12.5 hours.

I think I'm close to being ready.

I'll bring my luggage home from storage on Sunday and do a preliminary packing to see just how much adjusting I need to do.  Have some projects to finish.  Will get a haircut next week so it can grow out a little.  Do a little more shopping for my son and his family. (I'm taking Christmas presents with me.  I'll wrap them after I get there.)

Bake cookies.

I asked my son if they'd ever had any problems bringing my cookies back with them and he assured me they hadn't, then wrote "yay."

I guess I'm committed now.

I can't help wondering if the looming transition has anything to do with this trip to Tokyo.


Will I be the latest ex-pat?

I suppose I'll have to stay tuned.

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