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Hail Guest, we ask not what thou art.
If Friend, we greet thee, hand and heart.
If Stranger, such no longer be.
If Foe, our love will conquer thee.
-Old Welsh Door Verse

Friday, November 02, 2012

Nightmare Challenges.

A short list.

Nightmares can be fun.
Summoned for Federal jury duty.  First time for federal.  I've never actually been on a jury (although I've served many years in a row until I did a 99-day Criminal Grand Jury.  Haven't been summoned by the county since.  Yet.)   For the federal jury, my original summons was a call-in of October 30-November 12.  I leave for Japan November 15.

Younger son broke up with a wonderful young woman that he'd been with (seriously) for over a year.  I'd never seen him so happy with anyone (he's 31).  Still don't understand.  (I'm keeping her.)

Tried to order a free-range turkey from a local meat market for a dinner party.  Owner wouldn't answer my phone calls, email didn't work.  Finally resorted to facebook and he eventually responded.  Bird (frozen) cost $73.00.  Worker told me it would "probably be OK" to defrost in the refrigerator, but after one day it was still frozen solid.  Had to put it in water, then leave it out all night and it was still cutting it close.  It tasted good - because I do a good job with a turkey - but didn't have the fat of a "cheap" prisoner turkey (sorry, girls) so was a tad on the dry, tasteless side.  Won't be doing that again.

While I fought with the turkey man, another turkey contacted my boss about bringing my class to a local Civil War re-enactment.  They were willing to donate money for buses and assumed that gave them the right to assume we would be there, even though they, too, did not answer my calls or emails asking for details.  BTW, I've been to this re-enactment and it's fantastic - on Saturday and Sunday.  But our invitation was for Friday.  In short, after two weeks of being ignored, I finally bullied an email out of one of the men.  It told me that I would spend his money and easily that much again to bring 350 8th graders to the site to watch them set up canvas tents for about 20 minutes before we would have to load up and come back to school for dismissal.  This after disrupting at least two, probably three, classes and missing lunch.  Won't be doing that, either.

Finally got some breathing space.  Postponed the jury service until February.  Said no to the re-enactment and chanted, "Just get me through the dinner party" for a week.  Breathed a sigh of relief when the dinner party was successfully completed.  Went to work on Monday and at 3:30 drove away from school into town for a meeting.  On the way the "A/B OFF" light started flashing.  Called the mechanic the next day to make an appointment for the day after.  Fretted the whole time about the possible diagnosis while trying to talk positive. 

Woke up at 3:00 AM the day after I left the car, worrying about what I would learn.  One of my favorite Law of Attraction phrases is "worrying is like praying for what you don't want," so when I get into one of these states I distract myself by playing cards on my ipod or using it to check in on facebook.  While checking on facebook I noted this post from my son:

"Don't tell my mom, but the water heater broke and flooded the garage."

He did a great job of taking care of turning off the water and cleaning up as best he could in the wee hours.  The tank itself was under warranty, but we had to pay the labor - $675 we don't really have.

And then, at about 2:30 pm (I had been in a workshop all day) I got the call with the news about my dear SUV.  New transmission.  Master cylinder leaking - somewhere.  Two brake pads down to minimum allowable.  Power steering fluid smells burned.  Coolant is dirty.  Blue Book on the car is $2500.  Estimate on work needed to make her safely useable?  $4400.

I felt like I'd been swimming upstream all month.  I'm sure my astrologer friends can explain the influence of the planets on all this (I know Saturn has been in Scorpio and Uranus in Pluto, but I'm a long way from understanding how all that works).  All I know is that it feels like being beaten on with a 2 x 4.

But once I got that call and accepted that I was going to be carless, I felt a delightful sense of peace wash over me.  I'm coming to understand that this means I've made the right decision.  And once I make the right decision and celebrate that, even when, like in this case, it means inconvenience and complications, life starts to turn around.

I need to remember that.  I've read it over and over, but am still challenged accepting it.  If something is a struggle, and it seems that roadblocks are being thrown in your way, it's the wrong path.  When it goes easily, it's is the right one.

We're having a big garage sale tomorrow.  Moving out the final boxes from a three-year purge project.  These were the hard ones for me, the stuff that I kept after a half-dozen purges and garage sales.  But last weekend, as I went through the boxes again, I realized that the stuff is stuff I'd collected for different dreams.  Once I accepted that those are no longer my dreams, it became easier to let the stuff go.  My dreams are made of different stuff now and the dolls and teddy bears don't really have a place.  What doesn't sell tomorrow will go to the Rescue Mission Thrift Store where perhaps it will brighten someone's Christmas stocking.

That feels peaceful.

Like the right decision.

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