...to pass up.
Usually I try to deal with the speedbumps in the road of life with optimism. Hope. Gratitude.
It's been a rought trip lately. An astrologer friend warns that it's because Saturn is in Scorpio, which doesn't seem fair since I just emerged from my second Saturn return. (Really wish I understood all that.) But the BS (bad stuff) has been piling on. Ending my marriage is a continuing process, although the good news is that we seem to make better roommates in our typical Baby Boomer break-up than we were spouses.
But a couple of weeks ago my younger son broke up with his fantastic girlfriend. It really shook me, and the grief has been profound. Fortunately, she and I agree that we are keeping each other and are finding our own relationship without him. It's better, but not perfect as I was really looking forward to being grandma to their someday children.
Then Monday after work a new light surprised me on my car dash. Bess has been the best SUV ever. I want to keep her going, and am trying to stay optimistic that the transmission service light means fluids, not replacement 'cause I can't afford that. Oh, and probably brake work, too, since that light has been on for a while but I thought it was just another malfunction (messages have checked out as malfunctions for the life of the car.) Smacking myself in the back of the head for ignoring that one. I'm lucky I haven't killed myself; or worse, someone else.
And then this morning, 3 AM to be exact, while I was checking facebook on my ipod to distract myself from fretting about the car ("worrying is like praying for what you don't want"), I scroll down to a message left at midnight from my son. "Shhh.. don't tell my mom the water heater broke and flooded the garage." So now we have to see if the plumbing company I bought the heater from in 2006 is going to honor the expensive platinum ten-year covers everything warranty I let them sell me.
I could use a friend.
"In this moment, I am all right."
Now I just have to see if someone will take me to work.